As you should know, Dallas Derby Devils' season opener is tomorrow. Hotties vs Rumblers and Shifters vs Slaughterers. Couldn't think of a better way to start 2010, honestly.
I can't wait to see the Death Row Rumblers get creamed by the High Seas Hotties. The Hotties are going to do some damage to those orange tarts. On the other hand, I have heard that the Rumblers are "out for blood" this season, whatever that's supposed to mean. Truth be told those jailbaits have stuck together, showing little change in their roster since 2006, and even go on road trips together to some backwoods town in Arkansas to rub their butts on each other and sing the theme song to Hee Haw. 2009 Rookie of the Year Jackie Lation seems to think she's some kind of big deal, too. No matter how hard they may want it, you can't deny the fact that the despicable party pirates have a stacked roster of veterans, including skaters that comprise a good fourth of the all-star Hell Razors. The High-C's are going to miss the high-scoring bag of sass Strawberry Deathcake 2000 due to a separated shoulder, though. Either way, these girls are all planning on starting 2010 with a win. I admit it will be intense. I know how badly everyone wants to root for the underdog, but I'm still 85% positive the Rumblers are getting smeared.
The Suicide Shifters have struggled to get more than third place since their existence. It doesn't seem like their little mechanic shop could ever get any of those motors running on time. This year may be a chance for them to get their gears together and kick some ass. New additions from recent interleague transfers will significantly beef up their line-up, which still totes 3rd and 4th season veterans V-Twin Vixen, Amazon Assassin, Jamie Lee, and Ol' Dirty Basher. The Slaughterers suffered a severed limb when all but one travel team member retired from home competition to concentrate solely on duties to the devil as a Hell Razor and 3 year captain Scary Cherry Bang Bang jumped ship. A new captain, a new coach [who apparently disappeared from derby to go cleanse his chakra or some bullshit and has just returned], and lots of rookies, the Slaughterers might stumble through their season opener. I expect this bout to be riveting. Get it? Riveting?
The Wrecking Crew has a bye this game since they lost every game last season. Ouch! However, they will be playing the Death Row Rumblers May 22.
You can't miss this season. Oh man, I am serious as roadkill. This is my serious face. Listen. You better buy your tickets early, get your butt to NYTEX early, find a seat, get someone to get your beer for you, and scream your head off. Here's all the info so you don't have the excuse of saying you didn't know when or where it was.
Raw Power Season Opener
NYTEX Centre
8851 Ice House Drive
North Richland Hills, TX
Doors open at 7:00pm, the power is unleashed at 7:30pm
Get your tickets on-line for $13 or at the door for $15
Friday, April 16, 2010
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