Sunday, May 23, 2010
was i right or was i right?
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
they see me rollin', they hatin'
Alright haters, here's the deal. I can tell you how this Saturday will unfold. You can deny it all you want, but you know what? My accuracy rate right now is 100%. Still don't trust me? It's okay, we really have only just met. I understand that some people are a little intimidated by strong, opinionated women.
Is that what's wrong? Are you scared I might be right? Does thinking about skaters running over appendages keep you up at night? It's okay, there's a cure for it. Just read this blog and accept it as truth and I'd say about half of your anxiety will melt away immediately. Try to remember not to roll over onto the wet spot.
Well, seeing the tragic upset for the Slaughterers last month left a coppery taste in plenty of mouths. The former undefeated champions were bleeding tears as the Suicide Shifters took over the bout from the beginning and showed no signs of letting up. This weekend the pink pushovers will be taking on the high and mighty High Seas Hotties - they're toughest contenders from last season. The Hotties have a bunch of bruisers on their team with huge chips on their shoulders. They had to settle for second place last season, boo hoo. They're aching for a trophy for all their efforts and the Slaughterers are now just another team in the way. Unless captain Maniac McGee and her hunky coach Crashanova have honed a secret weapon they won't have a fighting chance against Lickity Splittail and her pussy pushin' pirates. For the Hotties, victory over their rivals will be so very sweet.
The Wrecking Crew will make their 2010 debut against the Death Row Rumblers this Saturday. The Crew have been training with a new coach, Mattomic, after now Hotties coach Rhino and former captain Anita Riot both jumped ship last season. Word has it he's not going to be there this weekend either! Still loaded with veterans, four travel team skaters, and some powerful new recruits, the Wreckers might be able to pull off a win after getting stomped repeatedly in 2009. The glitter-butt Rumblers claim differently. Debbie Downer caused quite a fuss last bout against the Hotties, and was benched by her own team for being a cry-baby. It'll be fun watching her fume again if (or should I say when?) her team gets stuffed a second time. Heike de Skirt, former Wrecker co-captain, and Postal Penny put on quite a performance in April as top jammers for the ex-cons. Jackie "Big Deal" Lation pumped a few chumps, too. However, they're still a couple seasons short on experience when considering the Crew's Ingersoll Rand, Lucky Lou, Dar2 D2, and the infamous Anita Riot (yes, she begged them to take her back after her stint with the Shifters last season, but how could they resist?). It'll be a nail-biter, but my bet is on the Crew and their big, er, wrecking balls.
Last bout was sold out, so you better buy your tickets ASAP or show up early. Keep up the good work and buy your favorite derby girl a beer at the after party. They have $1.50 PBR, I am not shitting you!!! If this excites you as much as it does me, I suggest organizing for a designated driver.
Here's the info:
Talk Derby to Me
Saturday, May 22nd
Doors open at 7PM
NYTEX Sports Centre
8851 Ice House Dr
North Richland Hills, TX 76180
Tickets are $13 in advance, $15 at the door
It will hurt your soul to miss anything this year.
Is that what's wrong? Are you scared I might be right? Does thinking about skaters running over appendages keep you up at night? It's okay, there's a cure for it. Just read this blog and accept it as truth and I'd say about half of your anxiety will melt away immediately. Try to remember not to roll over onto the wet spot.
Well, seeing the tragic upset for the Slaughterers last month left a coppery taste in plenty of mouths. The former undefeated champions were bleeding tears as the Suicide Shifters took over the bout from the beginning and showed no signs of letting up. This weekend the pink pushovers will be taking on the high and mighty High Seas Hotties - they're toughest contenders from last season. The Hotties have a bunch of bruisers on their team with huge chips on their shoulders. They had to settle for second place last season, boo hoo. They're aching for a trophy for all their efforts and the Slaughterers are now just another team in the way. Unless captain Maniac McGee and her hunky coach Crashanova have honed a secret weapon they won't have a fighting chance against Lickity Splittail and her pussy pushin' pirates. For the Hotties, victory over their rivals will be so very sweet.
The Wrecking Crew will make their 2010 debut against the Death Row Rumblers this Saturday. The Crew have been training with a new coach, Mattomic, after now Hotties coach Rhino and former captain Anita Riot both jumped ship last season. Word has it he's not going to be there this weekend either! Still loaded with veterans, four travel team skaters, and some powerful new recruits, the Wreckers might be able to pull off a win after getting stomped repeatedly in 2009. The glitter-butt Rumblers claim differently. Debbie Downer caused quite a fuss last bout against the Hotties, and was benched by her own team for being a cry-baby. It'll be fun watching her fume again if (or should I say when?) her team gets stuffed a second time. Heike de Skirt, former Wrecker co-captain, and Postal Penny put on quite a performance in April as top jammers for the ex-cons. Jackie "Big Deal" Lation pumped a few chumps, too. However, they're still a couple seasons short on experience when considering the Crew's Ingersoll Rand, Lucky Lou, Dar2 D2, and the infamous Anita Riot (yes, she begged them to take her back after her stint with the Shifters last season, but how could they resist?). It'll be a nail-biter, but my bet is on the Crew and their big, er, wrecking balls.
Last bout was sold out, so you better buy your tickets ASAP or show up early. Keep up the good work and buy your favorite derby girl a beer at the after party. They have $1.50 PBR, I am not shitting you!!! If this excites you as much as it does me, I suggest organizing for a designated driver.
Here's the info:
Talk Derby to Me
Saturday, May 22nd
Doors open at 7PM
NYTEX Sports Centre
8851 Ice House Dr
North Richland Hills, TX 76180
Tickets are $13 in advance, $15 at the door
It will hurt your soul to miss anything this year.
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